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Motherhood & Happiness

Contributing Author: Cathy Yu

Most children are attached to their mommy’s emotions.  They love to see mommy happy. We are the mirror to our children.  We should try to make it easier for our children to deal with our emotions. Well, yes, that is easier said than done. 

Motherhood is the toughest job in the world, isn't it?  You’re under so much stress. It may feel something like riding a plane to go through turbulence from time to time. Here are some ideas to help your mindset and actions in stressful moments.

Shift the Perspective As a mother, you feel overwhelmed as the life is filled to the brim with diapers, feeding, housekeeping, endless hours of tidying up the toys, plus have to handle the occasional negative behavior, homeschooling and leaving little time or energy for anything else.  It’s difficult to squeeze in any extra hours for spending time alone. When you feel life gets blurry, adjust your focus by shifting the perspective. People work hard because they believe there is reward awaiting them that can justify their efforts and dedication. They work long hours, skip the big meal, miss a social gathering all with long term goals in mind. They understand that the small sacrifice now will lead to bigger things in the end,

Consider, your child is our best career.  Days after days of interactions with the kid at home having the biggest impact on who our child will become.  There is no greater space in your life that your actions will carry the ripple effect for a lifetime. That is the perspective that can place so much more value on the time you spend with your little one.

Shift the Intention We often seek too much pride off the backs of our children. From the small things like never misbehaving in a restaurant as a toddler to expecting our kids to get into an Ivy league college. Setting certain expectations can be dangerous for our and our children's psyche. Children will naturally seek success to win approval from parents- that is normal. However, remembering your child is an individual with their own strengths and weaknesses is important. They may not fall in line with your dreams for them.  If you’re having tough time get your children living up to the specific standard set by yourself or others, let them find their own path base on their strengths. You will be amazed at what they can do!

Shift the Direction Parents get angry for the gap between the things you want your kids to do and what they actually do. Most parents will use the strategy of rewards and punishments for educating the children comply with the rule. No strategy can fit to everyone. When one strategy doesn’t work, shift to other direction or strategy instead. There are several methods of parenting. It's not a one size fits all process. Even within one family there might be numerous differences between children. A parent coach can help support you in those strategies.

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